The Breakup?

I almost can't think of anything more comforting than this show. Last Christmas, one of my best friends, told me that this show really helped her pinpoint some exact sentiment within herself and express it better than she ever could, even as someone who prides herself on being good at self-expression. As do I. But something about the variety of human experience and scenarios that I wouldn't be able to pull out of the most creative of crevices in my brain, makes me want to burst about it to everyone I know. Did you say you just took a roadtrip?? This American Life just had a show about road trips and......he was saying....and this other guys said.....and they got lost.....and it was so good!!! If you've ever heard the show, you know what I mean. You want everyone to feel the same way you do when you get it. Or you've experienced it. Or the compilation is so clever (one show, entitled "Mapping" had five Acts, in which a different person (or people) mapped somehow with one of the five senses). Amazing! This show will comfort me to the end of Ira Glass's life, or mine, whichever comes first.

Maybe I should have realized the fragility of my relationship with my boyfriend/significant other/whatever when he used to tease me in the mornings as I listened to TAL and read the New York Times online. Sure, it sounds awfully middle class of me, but those are my morning comforts: coffee, newspaper, some soporific sentiment. I think part of me liked that he didn't get wrapped up in it; it was my thing. But now that I look back on the evolution of our currently anemic relationship, all I can remember are the things we don't have in common. And summiting that list are the snippets of my taste in culture: lazy radio shows, indie rock, any sort of self-conscious utterings in the media. Not to say he doesn't have culture of his own; but, while I try to understand what a running back is, what a tight end does, and who won the World Series, there's no limit to his intolerance and judgment for the things that honestly define a large part of my intellectual consumption. And it feels like a judgment, and some unpleasant verdict, for me.

So, I want to break up with him, but I don't want to break up actually, I just want to kind of disappear. And just have him be really fucking sad and want to call me all the time.